hot n cold
by mikige
Summary: Sometimes realization about things comes too late. It happens with love. And sometimes you just don't get second chances...
1. Chapter 1

(Third person's POV)

So, there she is, Ashley, trying to answer her exam. Shite, guess her pen's not working anymore because she turned to that hot girl from my class to burrow one. Well, I guess I've never actually realized how teaser that girl could be… yeah, I guess teaser is the correct term to use. Haha, wonder what that little bitchie girlfriend of Ashley believes.

I turn around to look at the window to find, with no surprise, that little bitch is outside the classroom, not really happy that her girlfriend looks like flirting with another (much hotter, I must add) girlie. G-d, if only she knew Ash the way I do she'd know that she has absolutely no intention to flirt with the girl. There, you see? Ash's pen is working again and turns to return the burrowed one, not even looking at the girl, keeping focused on her exam. Which is probably what I should be doing right now… ok, one last look at the window. Yep, little bitch looks slightly more relaxed than before.

Seriously, I can't believe Ashley fell for that bitchie girl, Danielle. Ok, let me explain, because I believe I'm not being very clear right now. When Danielle appeared she pretty much spoiled everything Ash was. Ash was great, confident, bad-ass. So unobtainable… but then she fell in love. Yes, THE Ashley Davies fell in love. No, not with Danielle, someone before her. Someone who just broke Ash's heart into little pieces without even trying. But I guess that's what happens when you fall for your so called "straight" best friend. Yeah, when that happened, it was simply the end of Ashley Davies.

Not that the best friend was a heartless cold bitch, I guess she just wasn't ready for that. But anyway, Ashley was so broken at the moment that she pretty much cried every night. She just didn't know what to do, because you know, you just don't plan things like that to happen. Let's get back a couple of years, when they were the best of friends and there weren't problems at all.

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hey! well this is my first fan fic. i basically wrote it because it's pretty much based on a real life story and i thought it was just too dramatic and good so i wrote it haha.  
but anyway, tell me if i should continue or not! i'd totally appreciate your reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

well thnx to LDfreedomTB for the review (haha i know, my only reviewer!) but anyway i'll keep posting! because i actualy like to write :P

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(Third person's POV)

They met back when they both started college, med school, to be precise. They knew each other form before, but never actually took the time to talk to each other. But then, when they finally talked, it was like they were meant to be friends from the start. You could totally say there was chemistry. They were together all of the time, even when the friend went out with her boyfriend, there were times Ashley was also there. Everything was perfect, and they were always there for each other. Ashley was there for her friend when her idiotic boyfriend of almost 4 years decided to break up with her without any sign that things were wrong. Her friend was devastated, but fortunately there was Ashley to make her feel better. The friend also took her part being there for Ashley when Ash broke up with her boyfriend (well yeah, she wasn´t always gay). Then Ash was there for her friend when she broke up again with the same idiotic guy (yeah, they actually got back together after the first time…). And then the best friend was there for Ash when she came out. And then… well, whatever, I think you got the picture. Lots of ups and downs, but they were still there for each other.

So you might wonder when the whole "I'm in love with you" part started. It didn't start long ago. Because you know, Ash didn't like her friend like that. She wasn't into blondes, even. It all started the 3rd time her friend broke up with jack-ass number one (I know, some people just can't learn from their mistakes…) What her friend needed was to go out to a club with some of their other friends, dance her pain away and have a couple of vodkas to accompany. That's exactly what they did. But I guess that "a couple of vodkas" turned into a lot of vodkas and they were both wasted.

So it didn't feel like wrong when they started to dance pretty close to each other. It also didn't feel like wrong when they started to get all touchy all of a sudden and certainly it didn't feel like wrong when her friend leaned to kiss Ashley. And it was just not some sexual make out session. It was a real kiss. Sweet but passionate. A kiss neither wanted to break. A kiss both smiled to. A kiss that was definitely going to be remembered.

But then some friend of them named Aiden had to mess it all up for the girls. He interrupted them and asked Ash's friend to dance. It didn't take long for them to start making the same thing Ashley and her were making. And that was it. Ashley didn't know if it was the sudden heat running up through her spine to her head. Or if it was the sudden sensation of killing Aiden. Or even if it was the increasing urge to run towards her friend and kiss her passionately and never stop. She didn't know if it was one of them or a combination of things, but at that moment Ashley Davies realized she might want her friend to be a little more than just a friend.

From that moment it just got more complex. After that day Aiden and friend decided that they would start dating because they had been wanting to do that since forever (yeah, right…) But Ash never stopped being a friend to her friend. Though it killed her every time she saw them together. She cried silently when she could, because she knew that somewhere beneath the now rough exterior of her friend, she felt the same. So yeah, it killed her that she couldn't say a thing about her feelings because of the fear that she might push her friend away with that statement.

But some months after the whole thing, her friend finally started to take things seriously and talk with the heart. She explained that dating Aiden was some sort of a mistake because she still needed to process the whole break up thing with old boyfriend. She even said that she needed her old boyfriend back, that she needed him more than anything else and that she felt like no one else could ever love her like he used to do. Yeah, she was actually talking about the same jack-ass that dumped her, not one, not two, but three times. And she said she couldn't find ANYONE that could love her, anyone that could make her his first priority. No need to say Ashley was speechless. How could her friend not notice how much she loved her!! Ash did pretty much everything for her to notice that she could be the perfect girlfriend if she gave her the chance. But no, there she was, crying over an idiot man that broke her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

well here's the third chapter, thnx to all who read and specially to snowdrop1026 for the review.

ohh and i forgot the disclaimer in the early chapters. ok, i own nothing, i don't own the characters or anything related to south, i just own the story!

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(Third person's POV)

Ash didn't surrender. She kept trying and trying. Her friend Kyla also knew about the situation and kept telling Ashley to just drop it, that they weren't meant together. But Ash didn't want to let it go just yet. If she could know if there was even a little hope… a little hope that her friend felt the same Ash felt the moment they kissed. So she thought that maybe it was easier to ask Kyla if her friend has ever mentioned any of the kind.

--_Flashback_—(Ashley's POV)

-"Hey Ky, can I talk to you for a second?"

-"Sure Ash, what's up?"

-"Well you know how everything has been with me, hmm, you know, loving her…"

-"Oh yeah, it's been complicated…" Kyla managed to mutter. She wasn't fan of the idea of friends dating friends. She thought it always ended bad.

-"Well I was wondering, I know it's crazy, but I was wondering if she, hum, knew about it…" Ash asked, nervous of what the answer could be.

-"If she knows? About what?"

-"Oh come on, Ky! You know about what! My feelings for her!"

-"Ohh, that. Well yeah, she knows."

-"WHAT!?!?!" Oh yeah, Ash was seriously freaking out.

-"Well, just like that, she knows. Sorry I forgot to tell you, but I've been really busy lately." Kyla said emotionless, just like she was telling her friend that she forgot to close the window.

-"Ky! You just don't forget about that kind of things!"

-"You're right, ok? I'm sorry I forgot. But hey, don't worry, she took it pretty cool actually. She said she knew it since the beginning and that it doesn't matter, that she still loves you anyway."

Wait, what??? She knew since the beginning? And what does she mean with the whole "she still loves you anyway"? It's not like I'm a monster or something!

(Third person's POV)

Yeah, I know, I would've had the same reaction as Ashley. Well now Ashley was mad. Like SERIOUSLY mad. Her girl knew the whole time! Then why acting like an innocent fool? Because seriously, the girl knew that Ash liked someone very much and that she was trying to move on because there was like no reason for her to believe that anything could happen with this so called girl. But then, if she knew since the beginning that Ashley was talking about her, then why encourage her to go on with her feelings? Why telling things like "oh love's a beautiful feeling, you should just let it be"? Or why teasing by making it clear to Ashley that they were dating, even if it was not true? She knew! Her biggest secret was known by the one person she didn't want to know! She couldn't explain her feeling at that moment. She felt like… exposed. And felt even betrayed by Kyla that "forgot" to mention such an important thing.


	4. Chapter 4

sorry i didn't post yesterday, i wasn't at home... but anyway, here's chapter 4, hope you enjoy it! sorry for the small chpaters, i'll try to write them a little bigger haha.

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(Third person's POV)

Ash was just tired. Tired of trying to make the girl understand how much she loved her. Because the worst part was that she actually knew all of Ash's feelings, but decided to ignore them. She simply acted like she didn't care. Well Ash could play that game too. So fuck love, she's not worth it. She's not worth her tears anymore.

But Ash knew better. Or well, at least her heart knew better. It only took one look from the blonde to completely melt all of her determination to forget about her.

Anyway, to make a long story short, that little exotic game between them ended when Ashley was informed, by another friend, that the girl of her dreams was back with her old boyfriend. Yeah, you know who, don't make me go there. Actually, she was back with him while flirting with Ashley. Ash just couldn't tolerate it anymore. That day she decided she had to stop talking to the blonde. Or at least to stop being so close. Because it was like she didn´t know who her friend was anymore. It was as if she was not the person she fell in love since the beginning.

And so she did. She kept telling herself that probably she just wasn't meant to do relationships so she stopped believing in love for the sake of all. And it lasted for a while. Until Danielle decided to make an appearance.

So, back to where we started. That little bitch. Ashley met her one random day. It was a Sunday, and Ash was out in the garage washing her beautiful convertible when she suddenly felt that someone was watching her. Ashley, having some temper, was ready to just scream to whoever was watching her when she turned around and realized it was a sweet looking brunette that was starting to blush.

--_Flashback_—(Ashley's POV)

-"I… hmm… sorry, didn't mean to stare…" random girl blabbered. Seriously, blushing has never been this cute.

-"Sooo, you are?" What? She could be a killer, as far as I know.

-"Oh, well, yeah, right… I'm Danielle, I just moved in next door."

-"Ashley Davies. You like what you see?" Can't help it, I'm a teaser for nature haha.

-"What? Hum, I…" There, more cute blushing. This girl is so sweet, seriously.

-"I meant the car, obviously…" Yeah, right. It absolutely had nothing to do with the fact that I'm washing it in only a really small bikini.

-"Oh, yeah, the car!" She says, in a more relaxed tone. "Yeah, I love the car. Not used to watching a lot of Porsches out there, haha."

-"Well, we can take it for a ride whenever you want…"

(Third person's POV)

And so they did. They started to get to know each other just as friends. Mainly because Ashley was not into relationships anymore and this girl was just special to be a single one night stand. And of course there is always the fact that Danielle is her neighbor, so she didn't want a big drama there.


	5. Chapter 5

Well truth is that the couple of months that Ashley started to hang out with Danielle, Ashley was starting to be more like herself again. No more bad temper, no more crying, no more sad faces. You could even say that she was… well, happy. Even Ash realized it; in her own words "I guess that being around Danielle feels just like… right to me. It kinda suits me."

Ash discovered, in one of many moments spent with Danielle, that she was actually from the same city, that she used to live on the other side of it but had to move because her father wanted a change for their lives. She was about to start college, which meant she was 2 years younger than Ash. Danielle missed her friends, for sure, but she could still see them every once in a while. Plus, she was really happy she found someone like Ash to talk to. And to be honest, Ashley was as happy as her.

So, why keep it longer? Truth is that one day, after some months of hanging out, Danielle realized she liked Ashley, very, very much. So to be subtle, she went to Ashley for "advice." She'd say that she found out that she was falling for her best friend, who happened to be a girl, and wait to see what Ashley could say. Because Danielle didn't know Ashley was actually into girls.

--_Flashback_—(Danielle's POV)

-"Ash, it's great you're actually home, I needed to talk to you." I asked, trying with all my effort to not sound nervous as I talk to her. Not working though, because she looks especially hot today. Damn.

-"Hey there kiddo, what's up? I just came home from the hospital. G-d, I swear they want to kill me over there…"

-"Haha, sometimes I just can't believe you are going to be a doctor. You really don't look like one… You know, you're really not the geeky type"

-"Nah, forget about it, looks can be deceiving! But you sure know I'm just the best. But anyway, let's drop it. What did you want to talk about?" She asked, in a supportive, concerned way. Just when I thought I couldn't like her more. Ugh, what is this girl doing to me? And I thought I was straight as a ruler…

-"Well I don't know how to ask this, can I really trust you with anything?" She just nodded reaffirming, so I continued. "You know, I don't know how to express this but I, hum, I think I like someone." So lame, Dane, so, so lame.

-"Hey, that's, hum, awesome Dany! Who is this special guy?" Is it just me or was she actually disappointed to hear that? G-d, if only she knew…

-"Oh well, you know, that's exactly where the interesting part begins. I actually didn't fall for a guy, I fell for a girl. One of my best friends, actually…" I said it, I finally did. I couldn't stare into her eyes, though; I just didn't want her to react in a weird way. So I just looked at the floor, as if it was that interesting… Hmm, ok, now awkward silence is building, maybe I should just look up now. As I focus my gaze on her face again, I realize that she has an indecipherable expression. Damn, I think I just fucked things up pretty hard…

-"Look Ash I'm sorry, I didn´t mean to freak you out or anything…" I slowly started to stand up from the cozy cushion we were at without being able to stop the forming tears. G-d I was such an idiot! I was just leaving when I felt her hand grabbing my arm.

-"No, no Dany, please, don't go. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to space out. I was just… processing all the information. But of course I'm not freaked out or anything like that. Actually, I believe that is a pretty normal thing. Oh boy, where to start… I think I never actually mentioned you why I don't do relationships anymore, did I?" I just managed to mumble a quiet 'no' before sitting down again by her side. "Well, it wasn't actually a long time ago. I got my heart broken. Broken by a girl whom I think didn't even noticed. Broken by I girl I was totally in love with. A girl that happened to be my best friend…"


	6. Chapter 6

snowdrop i swear u won't want to read anything else because i think u can seriously read my mind! haha so well, pretend to be surprised when u read what's next in the story. oh and i actually like dany too :D

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(Third person's POV)

So yeah, she totally had to bring up the "my best friend broke my heart" story. But it was a good cause, I guess, it was because she didn't want Danielle to suffer the way Ashley did. After the whole story, Danielle couldn't say a lot. She was just there staring at Ashley. What happened to Ash saddened her, how could someone hurt that gorgeous girl so much! So before she could even know what she was doing, she leaned down to kiss the older brunette. After a soft kiss, Ashley pulled back, thinking that she was making the younger girl do something she might not want to do. When Danielle realized what Ashley was doing, trying to protect her, Danielle just said: "Ash, no, don't worry. This whole time? The girl I fell for? It's you, it was you all the time. I totally understand that you can't open your heart right now, but please, all I am asking for is an opportunity. A small hope that maybe one day you will be able to let me in and let me love you, the way I want to show you so much. Because Ash, you're the girl I've been waiting for all this time, you're just perfect…" But before Danielle could finish, Ashley connected their lips one more time, promising the little brunette that she was going to try and that she was going to give her an opportunity. Because, in the end, Ashley felt something too. Ashley felt that maybe the little brunette was exactly what she was looking for. Because kissing her felt right. It felt ecstaticly right.

Cheesy, I know. Oh and yeah, you might wonder why I know all of these things. I guess I was just trying to skip all the proper introductions to the end of my tale. I know this because well, I´m her. Spencer Carlin. The infamous "best friend".


	7. Chapter 7

i know, i guess i'm very predictable haha. but anyway, i promise that the next chapters will be longer, it was just the way i divided them. hope the next ones are better, also! XD

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(Spencer's POV)

Damn, I shouldn't have spent my time of the exam thinking about Ashley and Danielle. Now the doctor's picking it up and I haven't answered even the half of it. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't even realize Ashley had finished and was walking away with Danielle. Damn.

Ok, I know that you probably think now that I'm a terrible person. At least some unstable, coldhearted bitch. But no. Seriously, I'm not.

Don't get me wrong, I love Ashley, more than I could possibly express. But by then I was not in love with Ashley. And now that I am in love with her, she just moved on and loves someone else. Call it bad timing. Or bad luck. Or maybe that you never realize what you have until you lose it. But that's the picture now. I'm in love with my best friend who loves someone else. And truth is, she has all the right to be. Because you know, sometimes 'I love you' comes too late…


	8. Chapter 8

thnx for the reviews, really! hope u still enjoy the story. and let me know what i should do with spencer! hhahaha

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(Spencer's POV)

When I got into my car all I wanted to do was just go to my house, lie down and try to forget about Ashley Davies. I turned my Ipod on and the first song that blasted into my car was unbelievable. I mean, what are the odds that between a thousand songs it plays this song! "When you're looking like that," from Westlife. Just in case you don't remember the chorus:

_How am I supposed to leave you now, when you're looking like that?_

_I can't believe what I just gave away, now I can't take it back._

_I don't wanna get lost. I don't wanna live my life without you._

_How am I supposed to leave you now, when you're looking like that?_

And just to add a more dramatic twist, Ashley was walking past by my car holding hands with Danielle in the exact same minute the chorus was blasting my car's stereo. Great. Maybe this is just G-d advice to forget about this. I don't even know why I still have this song in my Ipod, so mental note to delete it.

I drove to my house with lots of things in my head, which has been something normal for the past months. And now I'm adding my recently failed test. G-d my mom's gonna kill me, she always wanted me to be just like her, a great doctor and all.

So back to my room, alone as usual. I guess I've earned it. Thankfully I broke up with my boyfriend, you know, that idiot. He was not a bad person, but I wasn't in love with him anymore, so why make it more complex? So this time is for real. Aiden tried to come to me again, but somehow we both knew that it wouldn't have worked so we're just friends now. Ash and I are still friends, of course, because a friendship like ours is not something to just throw away to the garbage can. Maybe that's the reason why Danielle doesn't like me at all. Because she knows the whole story and she doesn't get why Ash still talks to me. Obviously I pledged dementia and pretended I didn't know that Ash knew that I knew… hmm, whatever that means.

But the truth is that the relationship between us is not even close to as it was before. I miss her so much, I miss hanging with her, I miss listening to everything she had to say… It would be fine if she decided she didn't want me as a girlfriend, if I could just have her back as the friend she was. But I broke any chance of trust between us when I decided to hide pretty much all of the important information of my life back when she wanted me. I managed to just push her away and I didn't even know why. I'm seriously resenting every single bad decision I made. Because now I'm friendless, boyfriendless, and most important, Ashley-less.


	9. Chapter 9

hey guys! sorry for the long time. u know, i'm supposed to be on vacation but my mother won't let me be at all haha, she always has something for me to do or somewhere to go. anyway, where was i? oh yeah, the story. hope u like the chapter, i'm sorry it's short again but i swear that when i wrote it on word it looked bigger... and of course, i don't mean to offend anyone by what i say about some music groups, so really, it's not personal, it just fitted the story :P

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(Spencer's POV)

Days passed by and it was almost the end of the semester. As my mother wasn't at all convinced with my decision of breaking up with my boyfriend, she didn't allow me to go out much. As if I care, I don't really have anywhere to go, or anyone to go out with. Just then my cell phone ringing broke me out of my thoughts. Ringing to… the Jonas Brothers? Ok last time I checked I made 'Lovebug' to sound in my cell phone only and exclusively when Ashley called. I mean, this really can't be true, it can't be…

-"Hello?" I answer my phone, unsure about who was going to answer me back.

-"Heeey Juudeee, don't make it baaaad…" Ok, first 'Lovebug' rings my cell. Then I answer it and someone sings to me The Beatle's 'Hey Jude'. No one does this except…

-"Ash?"

-"Of course, who else would ring your cell with The Jonas Brothers? I mean, you're like the only person that knows that little secret of me liking their songs!" G-d she knows me so good…

-"Well, yeah, you're…" I started saying, not knowing if I was feeling happy or sad. I didn't know anymore.

-"Plus, no one else sings 'Hey Jude' to you on the phone. Unless…"

-"No, no one else does that. You're the only one…" G-d I'm really relieved that we still don't do video calls because that way she would have noticed I'm biting my lip so I don't tell her how much I love her and miss her and everything.

-"Good. I don't want anyone messing up with that tradition of ours."

-"Yeah…So, Ash, what's up? It's been a while we haven't talked… Is everything ok?" I tried my best to sound as much as a best friend I could.

-"Oh yeah, of course everything's alright. But you know, you're right when you say it's been a while. I've missed you, you know?" She sounded so sincere that I couldn't help myself but to think that maybe, just maybe, there was a small opportunity for us to be real friends again.

-"Yeah, I know. I've missed you too. More than I could possibly express…" It was a barely audible sigh-like murmur. She does that to me, I can't even speak properly.

-"You know, you should consider washing your car now that we're almost on vacations. It really looks dirty, you know?"

Wait, what? Is she seriously speaking about my always-dirty car? How does she know? Unless…  
-"What? Ash, what are you talking about, how would you…"

-"You should really look outside your window more often, the day is great out here…"

I couldn't help myself but to smile. She was really here… No, no, I won't get overexcited about this. It's not like that time when my parents left for the weekend and I was alone and with no money and she appeared like a perfect princess in the middle of the rain out of nowhere and surprised me with dinner… She's so perf… No. No, no, no. She's with Dany now, face it!

After that little struggle with myself I pulled my head out of the window just to see Ash staring back at me.

-"Hey Jude, what took you so long?"

-"I don't know, I guess I just couldn't believe that you were really here. Dany knows about this, right?" Okay, way to blow a moment Carlin! She's thinking about that too, because she has a shocked look on her face right now. Oh G-d, now I just want to run and hide under my bed.

-"Ha ha ha, now you really made me laugh Carlin! Of course she knows! It's not like we're doing anything wrong. I just missed spending some quality time with my best friend. Hope that's ok with you…"

Idiot. Idiot. Idiot… Now think about something decent to say. You're soo loosing your cool, Carlin, seriously.

-"Perfect timing, I was actually starting to watch Jonas Brothers videos to boredom. Oh, wait. You actually like those guys, right?" I said with a winning smile. Spencer: 1- Ashley: 45. Ok, that doesn't sound good. Forget about it.

-"Hilarious Carlin, really. Don't forget I actually know about that weird Enrique Iglesias crush you have. So get your pitiful ass down here before I decide to spread your little secret like a high school bitch."

-"Oh whatever, you win. I'm almost down."

The drive was awkward, there's no other definition. I didn't even know where we were going, but I didn't have the strength to ask. Just being with her was perfect. But then I realized that the car just stopped and she was getting out of it. What the… Oh.

-"Ash? Are we where I actually think we are?"

-"Yup!"


	10. Chapter 10

sooo, i know it's been sometime but i was away for the weeken haha. thnx to all the reviewers, fatedcircle26, massi3l, snowdrop1026 and devil2010. i hope i'm not dissappointing u guys... anyway, on with the story!

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_(previews chapter)_

_-"Ash? Are we where I actually think we are?"_

_-"Yup!"_

(Spencer's POV)

-"We're in that street market from when…"

-"Yeah, we're here." She interrupted before I could finish.

-"The same from when we…"

-"Yes, Spencer, the same. Are you going to stay in the car all day?"

Don't get me wrong, I was going to say "the same from when we were both left home alone and we had probably the best weekend of my life…" well, maybe not that much, but something like that. Good she interrupted, then.

-"Ash, you know that the restaurant over there is like my favorite cheap Chinese food restaurant, right?" I managed to say when I got out of the car. The fact that she was totally smiling triumphantly made me realize that she was completely aware of my awkward likes.

-"I hope you're hungry, then…"

After a couple of hours of just hanging around I let myself to believe that it was the same again. Because it felt like the old times. Just walking around, talking about nothing and yet everything and it felt right. I felt alive again. I just didn't know why. I mean, I'll embrace it while I have it, but it's not exactly fair that she's being like this to me, she's just being too good.

-"Ashley, why are you doing this"

-"What? Making you spend the most shameful moment of your life by wearing this ridiculous hat?" She was indeed wearing a ridiculous hat that she was trying on.

-"No. Being nice to me and all of this." I said while taking off the horrible hat from her.

-"I thought you actually knew that you are my best friend Spencer. I don't think friends need a reason to just hang out."

-"We never talked about what happened. You know, between you and me…"

And perfect timing. Her cell started to ring to break all the determination I had to finally speak about everything with her.

"_Hey babe, what's up? … Yeah, I'm still here. With Spencer, yeah… Yes, I'll tell her you say hi… At 8? Sure, of course I can make it, I'll be there with you… Of course not! I obviously love you more!... I'm not fighting with you over that, Dany!... Hahaha, ok, ok, I'll let you win, but just for now! I love you, see you tonight._

Ugh, so cheesy. I know, maybe I hate all of that cheesiness just because it's not me who she's speaking to…

-"Sorry Spence, I'm back now. Do you mind if we start going? I have something tonight with Dany."

-"No, it's ok, I probably should be going back too, my mother is probably wondering where I am." I lied. I didn't want to leave; I didn't want this day to finish. Not when I was so close to apologizing and explaining everything to Ash.

The drive was again silent. When she pulled at my front door I turned to stare at her. I didn´t know how to say goodbye. I didn´t want to. Because what if this never happen again? I have to treasure this, that's for sure.

-"Well, bye Ash, thanks for everything today, it was awesome."

-"It's my pleasure Spence, seriously."

I was almost at my front door when she yelled.

-"Hey, Spence? Maybe we can repeat this more frequently, you know? I enjoy spending time with you."

I tried to hide it all of the afternoon but it was useless now. So I let it happen: I grinned like an idiot.

-"Sure! I'm always here!" Desperate too much, Carlin? "I… hmm… I also enjoy spending time with you, Ash."

Maybe a little bit more than I should. But who cares.


	11. Chapter 11

soo i know, i'm sorry! i just swear that i have more things to do now that i'm on vacation that back when i was at school. i've been busy also with a certain someone that totally deserves my time haha, so when it comes to her i'm sorry guys, but she's my priority :P haha well anyway, i know u probably started to like spencer and everything but i decided that i should give a little twist to the story and try to tell a little of ashley's feelings. this chapter starts just after ashley dropped spencer at her home. hope u like it!  
mika

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(Ashley's POV)

It was a crazy day, today. After lots of months without talking to Spencer, or well, barely talking to Spencer, I finally decide it's time to try to regain our friendship. I'm not really sure why, but I just can't live without her… She's my bestest of friends, after all. And sometimes I just need someone to talk about my feelings. Even though I love Dany and I talk a lot with her, there are things I just can't tell her. But anyway, I'm still not ready to talk about what happened between me and Spencer. Well, I don't even think that I can say that something happened. I was just being really stupid back then and I thank that Dany saved me with her phone call because I know Spencer wanted to say something about that. And as I said, I'm just not ready.

I stopped thinking about anything when I pulled at my house. 7:45, perfect timing. I went upstairs to the rooftop to wait for Dany. That's because our rooftops are connected (yeah, remember we're actually neighbors…) and since we started dating this became our favorite spot. As I walked out I noticed she was already there. I approached her and as I hugged her from behind she turned around to smile at me and rest her head on the crook of my neck.

-"You're early." She states as she closes her eyes.

-"So are you…" She just laughs at the truth and then I lean down to kiss softly her cheek. "Is everything alright?"

Her sigh and silence after tells me that something's wrong.

-"Babe, please. Tell me, what's wrong?" I was no longer holding her from behind. I needed to look into her eyes.

Holding my gaze she just shook her head and said "No, don't worry. It's nothing, it's just stupid."

I cupped her cheek. She's so beautiful and so good it's just impossible not to love her.

-"Look at me baby. Nothing that you think is stupid. And I'm pretty sure you know that you can trust me with anything. So?"

-"I just love you Ash, too much. And I don't wanna lose you just yet." A single tear escaped he eyes.

-"Hey, you are not gonna lose me. If this is because I went out with Spencer today, trust me when I say that I don't feel anything for her anymore. How could I when I have you with me, Dany? You're just everything I want for me right now. But please you have to understand me when I say that she's my friend and I still kinda need her that way."

-"You're right, I'm really sorry I overreacted to this, Ash, I just couldn't help it. But I trust you and I understand the fact that you need her. I love you, you know?"

-"And I totally love you more. Don't scare me again like that, ok?" I say as I grin.

-"I won't, don't worry!" She is smiling as well now.

-"Good. Now come here and cuddle that I missed you like mad!" I said as I pulled her with me to the couch we had on our special rooftop.

-"Hmm, Ash, we still have that dinner party down at my house, you remember?"

-"Oh I know. But don't worry, they won't miss us. At least for another 15 minutes. And in the end you can always say that I ate a bad fish or something and that you couldn't get me out of the bathroom."

-"Ok, ok, I'll cuddle! Hahaha, you really don't need to convince me."

We just stayed there for a while before going down to the thing that her parents asked us to go. I really don't know why, but this girl makes me happy. Makes me forget completely about Spencer, and thank G-d because that thing with Spencer was just breaking me. I'm glad that I could keep it cool with her and that we can have a friendship again. I truly believe that we were meant to be friends. I don't even know why I'm talking so much; I guess I could never believe I could be this happy. So I'll just say it. I guess this is it, no, I know this is it. The moment that all the people search for in their lives. Fuck, I might even say that this is my very own damn fairytale, that's it. I grinned at the thought, intertwined my fingers with Dany and walked into her living room where everybody was waiting for us. But to me, it was not only walking into a room, to me it was more like walking into my bright future.


	12. Chapter 12

i'm sorry if you didn't like the last chapter... i know, i'm also a sucker for spashley happy endings! trust me! if not, i wouldn't be writing here hahha. but remember this istory is still to be written and finished or whatever and i guess love always find a way... hahaha i'm not very good with cheesy things, so i just recommend to keep reading :P  
and thanks for your reviews! i love them, please review more! haha

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(Spencer's POV)

So, it's been 2 days, 18 hours, 37 minutes and 11, 12, no, 13 seconds since the last time I saw Ashley.

But who's counting.

Anyway, I know I shouldn't push this friendship further at least not now that is stabilizing. But I can't get the guilt out of my head. She needs to know the truth. I need to tell her that I never ever meant to hurt her so damn much.

I mean, if we're going to be friends again (who knows, maybe I accomplish something more…), I think that we should at least start with the correct foot. Hence I did the unthinkable. I called her.

-"Heeey Juuuude, don't make it baaaad…"

-"Hi Ash. I swear one day you'll get tired of answering me like that." I said as I giggled on the phone.

-"For you, my kinda dumb blonde friend, never."

Stupid blushing. Stupid sensitivity towards every single word that escapes her gorgeous mouth. Ok, say something, you idiot.

-"Haha, then make it easier and record it, it will save you a lot of saliva or something…"

-"You see, I totally would, but as you don't seem to call that often, then I don't think I should take that bother."

Ok, regain composure. She's your friend, after all. Right? RIGHT??

-"Then I'll promise to call you at least twice a day just to see if you make that true!"

-"Spence, I hope YOU make THAT true."

So, she was kinda pouring her heart out and I was just making stupid lame jokes. I know, I'm the lamest person on Earth.

I tried to serious myself up because well, she at least deserves that. But the truth is that I was trying to be funny because I'm nervous.

-"I'm sorry Ash, you're right. It seems that I always blow it with you, don't i? Look I… hmm… do you think you're free today?"

-"I have to do a couple of things, but don't worry Jude, I'll find the time, ok? I'll call you when I'm done."

-"Yeah, perfect, I'll see you soon."

So this is it. The moment I come clean with Ashley. I'm nervous, like really really nervous. But I have to do this. I need to do this.

After a couple of hours she called and picked me up. We went to a random mall, headed into Starbucks and grabbed coffee for both of us. I thought it would be good to lighten the mood. Well, my mood, at least.

But it didn't work. I grew more nervous with every step and kept talking about senseless things. From 'The Soup' to Jimmy Choos to the raise in gas prices. Stupid things, after all. We were there the whole afternoon and I just couldn't do it. I'm just not the brave person I thought I could be.

She tried to ask me, obviously. Because unlike me, she _is_ a good friend. And she knew that I needed to talk about something.

Because we've always shared some kind of connection. Since we started being friends, I always knew what she was thinking and viceversa. And I know that that hasn't changed.

But she didn't push me. She didn't make me talk about it even though I knew that she could sense what I wanted to say. She knows me pretty well. But still, she didn't push it. Maybe because she wanted to give me space and let me be brave. Maybe because she wasn't sure of what I was thinking. Or maybe because she, just like me, wasn't ready to talk about it.

It doesn't matter. We just didn't say a thing.

When she dropped me at my house I turned to look at her already feeling guilty for being such a weak girl. I had to say something. To make her sure that I care.

-"Bye Ash, thanks again for today. I hmm… I love you."

-"Whenever you want, Spence. I hope you're ok… when you feel ready to talk about whatever you wanted to talk about, call me. You know I'm always here for you. I love you too, Spence."

Silence. Steadiness. I couldn't stand up. The thing inside my chest was killing me and still I couldn't utter a word. Or move a finger. Or anything.

-"Spence? Are you ok?" She was looking at me, very concerned.

-"Ash, I…"

-"Yes?" She was pleading me to say something coherent. Or do something coherent.

-"Ash I love you."

-"Hmm. I know Spence, you've kinda already said that. I love you too."

"No Ash, I… I'm in love with you."

And just like that I left. I opened the car and exited and ran into my house.

Without looking back.

Because I didn't mean to say that much.


	13. Chapter 13

ok guys, so i thought that now it´ll be better if i answer personally to your reviews because well, you totally deserve that haha. thnx!!

fatedcircle26: ur right, that pretty much messed Ashley's head haha. i hope u agree with her reaction :P And thnx for the constant reviews!

massiel: i thought about the hot steamy bath and it felt like a good idea hahaha, but maybe later because i thought her instant reaction could be a little more... well, quick haha.

MasterDanniSoN2: thnx! i hope you like the next chapter!

jann4ice: as i said the last chapter, i'm a sucker for spashley happy endings too! so i promise i'll try not to dissappoint :P and of course u don't suck, we just love the girls together!:S

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(Ashley's POV)

Ok, I probably didn't listen correctly to what she said.

I'm sure she just said "I love being with you" or something like that.

Yeah, of course, that was it. I'm sure about it. Because well, I also love spending time with her and everything and we have so much fun that I'm sure that that's what she meant.

So if that's what she said, then why I haven't moved an inch? I'm still parked outside her house.

I'm like… numb.

I mean, this really can't be happening. After all we've been through.

She knows how much it hurt when I was in love with her and she just dismissed me like I had a horrible contagious STD.

So no. She wouldn't do this to me. Would she??

Arghh what the hell, Spencer! Why are you fucking doing this?

Why now, when everything in my life started to fall into place! When everything seemed right!

For goodness sake, we were friends again!

It cost me hell to forget about every thing you did that broke my heart, Spence! And still I let it go and managed to go and try to be friends again.

G-d I don't get this. I really, really don't. Bad timing fucking sucks.

But you know what? I blame Disney. I fucking blame Disney.

Because I grew up watching their movies and their channel and every single stupid movie or TV show always have a happy-ever-after kind of ending.

And this damned life is just not like that! Why couldn't they prepare me for moments like this?!?!

Why they don't have movies about a girl finding out that she's gay and how to come out to her family and friends? Why they don't have a TV show that truly explains how much it hurts when you get heartbroken?

And why on Earth wouldn't they make anything, ANYTHING that gives an advice on what to do when your best friend is fucking bipolar and messing with your feelings every time she looks at you!?!?!

Who am I kidding; no one's to blame but me.

Maybe if I pretend I didn't listen she will forget about it and everything will be alright again.

Or maybe I could go on vacation to a spa. Or a beach. Or both. Yeah, that's perfect. I could take Danielle too, and by the time we come back, Spencer must've had re-think things and decide that it was just a stupid statement and that we will be happy friends again.

See? Nothing to worry about, I got it all figured out.

G-d Dany really doesn't deserve this. Even I don't deserve this!

I love Dany, I love her like mad. But I can't lie. I never stopped loving Spencer.

See? Disney never showed me that you could be in love with two girls at once!

Spencer broke my heart. Dany has been perfect since the beginning. I'm sorry Spence, but this just doesn't seem balanced. I can't take a decision because I don't want to break any heart.

No, no, my head is just rushing. I have to stop thinking. Staying here thinking the worst is not going to lead me into a viable solution.

So I started the engine of my car while taking my cell from my purse and then I texted:

_Spencer we need to talk._


	14. Chapter 14

hey! i know u'd probably hate me because i finally come back after some abscence and this is probably the lamest chapter of the story! but please don't hate it haha, it's just because i'll be out of town for 3 days and i won't be able to post anything... plus i will totally be mourning SoN's loss... :'( i know, why does it have to end?!?!?!!  
but anyway, i promise i'll be back on monday posting more interesting chapters.  
so, this chapter was written after i saw a picture of the girls from a second season episode. i don't remember the episode's name, but i'm sure you'll remember it because it was when spencer gets mad at ashley and hides in the bathroom. so i wrote this specially over the scene when they're both like facing each other but with the bathroom door in the middle... i don't know why, but it inspired me so much because i could see how hard it is life when you get obstacles in the way, specially when those obstacles are put there by yourself like gigantic brick walls that won't let you get what you want... so think of this chapter and the last one as an interpretation of that scene, only that the obstacles between the girls are a car and a front door. well, yeah, if you think of the obstacles as physical things, those are it! but you know that it's more profound... hmm, i think i'm just writing nonesense because it's 5 am... wth?!? i have to go to "sleep"!! hahahaha

thnx to my reviewers!  
fatedcircle26: thnx! ur too good! hahaha i hope i don't dissappoint you with this lame chapter, but i promise the talk will come soon!!  
Xxashleyluver4lifexX: thnx for the review, hope you like the upcoming chapters!

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(Spencer's POV)

I'm standing here in my house, with my back at the door since I entered.

I haven't moved an inch.

I don't know why this keeps getting harder and harder with the minute. It's like we're just not meant to be together because I don't get why it has to be so difficult.

All my determination, all my rehearsed speech about what I was going to say to her today… I threw everything to the garbage can.

And I said the ONE thing I really shouldn't have said.

But how can I help it? How, when that's all she makes me feel?

When I see her I just want to run and hold her close and kiss her and never ever stop.

G-d if I could have known this 6 months before, just 6 months… everything would be so different.

But then I think that if I had had the courage 6 months ago, maybe it wouldn't have worked. Maybe she wouldn't have showed me her love the way she did. Maybe I wouldn't even have loved her as much as I do now.

So, timing. Timing is everything in this world. It can either help you or destroy you. And I really don't know why it wants to destroy me so bad right now. But I swear one day I'll have timing on my side.

Anyway, I have to focus my attention back on the matter in hand: how to regain Ashley as a friend. She probably doesn't even want to talk to me right now. And well, she's totally right.

Or maybe if I'm lucky enough probably she couldn't listen to what I said… but chances are like a million to one so I'm pretty sure she heard perfectly.

I have to plan something! Something original, something that will get her to talk to me again so I can finally explain everything. Since the beginning.

Just when I thought it was time for me to move from my door and up to my room to think of something to do with the Ashley project, I was almost killed with surprise when my phone rang, alerting me that I had a new text message.

The message was clear, simple and demanding. _Spencer we need to talk. _Oh we sooo need it…

But this time, Ashley Davies, I'm not planning on letting you go.

At least not without revealing the whole truth.


	15. Chapter 15

Sooo, i'm back! i was on the worst posible mood today because i had to go to the US embassy to the renovation of my US visa and let me tell you i was mad at hell! because i had my appointment at 10:30 so i arrived at the embassy at 10:15 to find a f*ing line on the street that went all the way round the embassy! so i had to stand in there 3 hours! and after those 3 hours i finally made it to the building. it was quick once inside, but i swear i almost pass out bacause of starvation hahaha. anyway, that's what took me so long to post today... butttttt! (no pun intended haha) this is a long chapter so i hope it totally makes up for my abscence. it's the first part of the talk between spencer and ashley, finally! hope you like it!

fatedcircle: thnx for the reviews, i hope you like the talk! it's kind of really long, but it explains things well!

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(Spencer's POV)

It's been 2 painful agonizing days since I haven't heard her voice.

No more Jonas Brothers cheesily singing Lovebug through my phone.

No more Hey Jude blasting in my ears by a beautiful yet poorly-trained voice.

I haven't think of anything to do for her yet, I thought it was better to just talk to her and keep it cool until then.

We've arranged when and where to meet already, but it was only through simple emotionless text messages.

9:45 am. I'm a bit early. We've agreed to meet at a small cafeteria to have some breakfast. Evidently I wasn't hungry. I turned to look at the café entrance nervously and at that exact moment she made her appearance. My jaw dropped for a few seconds, taking advantage that she hasn't seen me yet so I could just check her out. A light make-up covering her gorgeous face, her brown curls streaming down over shoulders, a simple black elegant shirt and some tight jeans hugging her body, the black boots I've always loved and… and now she's spotted me and began walking towards here. G-d Spencer, stop, you're drooling. Step 1: close your mouth. Step 2: clean yourself up. Step 3: pretend to find the menu completely interesting.

-"Spencer."

-"Ash, hi. Hmm, come, sit down. I haven't ordered anything yet, I was waiting for you." She nodded at my bad attempt of comment and turned to call the waiter.

-"Hi. I'll have a double espresso, please." She then looked at me with a tired expression and asked me- "You, Spencer? A soy milk mugaccino and a bagel with cream cheese? Or will you have different?"

I was left speechless for a moment. She's so unique. I mean, she's mad at me and still she tries to pamper me with the things I always have when I'm nervous…

-"Hmm yeah, but I'll just have the soy milk mugaccino, please."

After some awkward almost uncomfortable silence the waiter came back with our order. We were both visibly nervous, neither wanting to start talking because anyway we didn't know what to say.

But this is my chance to show I really care (like my 10th chance, I know, but this time I'm really taking it).

-"Ash I'm sorry about what happened a couple of days ago. And I'm sorry if I got you in trouble."

-"Spencer all I'm looking forward to do in this moment is to finishing this double espresso, nothing more."

-"I kinda get that, Ash, but I don't think we're here just for the coffee, so please, let me talk and explain everything."

-"Ok Spencer, you win." She said a little harshly while emptying the little coffee cup and placing it down like it was a tequila shot. I know she's nervous too, and having a big time headache, because there's like no other reason for the doubled espresso- "Why, Spencer? Why in the world would you do what you did? And please, PLEASE tell me there is a rational explanation to your behavior."

I doubted for a few seconds on what to answer. Because the truth is that the last word I'd use to describe my explanation would be 'rational.' But I'd still give it a try and hope she understands.

-"I'm sorry if I disappoint you now, but I'll explain anyway. What I said the other day Ash, I hmm… I didn't mean to say it."

Her cold expression softened a little but only to reveal a mix of concern, shock and specially disillusion. Disillusion?? Why disillusion?

-"Spencer, are you trying to tell me that what you said was a mistake? That… that you don't really feel that way about… well, about me?" she said in a little whisper-like tone.

-"Oh no, not really my point. What I meant was that I really, really didn't want to say it just yet, and specially I didn't want it to turn out the way it did. But the feeling… MY feelings for you, Ash, are real."

I didn't know why, but I was starting to get more confident by the minute.

-"I'm sorry, Spencer, but I find that hard to believe. It was no secret that I was in love with you. You knew it the whole time and still we decided, both on our own though, that we would never talk about it and just keep on with our lives pretending that it never happened.  
"I don't think you'll ever understand what those months did to me. I loved you, but I wasn't able to say a thing because I knew I would never have a chance with you, and you kinda made that clear. So I just wanted to get away for the sake of all. But before anything else I was your best friend, and I knew that you needed me there to help you getting everything straight in your life (a/n: isn't it ironic? Hahaha). And I couldn't help it because I did want to be there to protect you.  
"My heart got more and more broken every time I saw you with Aiden. I seriously wanted to rip his head off, especially because I felt that he didn't value you the way he should've. But that was not what finished with my heart, Spence. It was the fact that even knowing how I felt for you and even being aware that I would do everything for you , you still decided to mock at me by telling me how perfect Mike your ex was and that you really didn't think there could be anyone in this world that could love you like he did. So then magically you just kissed and made up and re-started your perfect relationship, hiding everything from me, your 'best friend'.  
"And I was left like a complete idiot. I then understood that to you I was just like an stupid hero support, who was always there to save you, the damsel in distress, while the fucking useless 'hero' got all of the credit. And the worst part, Spencer, was that I didn't really mind being just the hero support for you because I loved you.  
"But the truth is that I was just hurting myself, Spence. And then I met Dany and she made me believe in love again. In reciprocate love. I don't know what I would've done without her.  
So then again, excuse me, Spencer, but I don't believe you. I _can't _believe you. So did you realize you were in love with me after I was gone? Did you realize how much you loved me right after I moved on and found happiness with someone who wasn't you? A little selfish, don't you think? I'm really sorry I'm being harsh and rude, Spencer, but you have to understand me. I don't get anything at all. I don't get why, if you loved me so much, could still hurt me the way you did."

All of her words pierced my ears painfully and slowly started to break my heart. I tried hard to get rid of the lump in my throat and the salty water that was threatening to fall. But I guess it was useless because I started to feel my cheeks getting soaked.

-"Oh G-d, Spencer no, please don't cry."

-"Oh Ash, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I hurt you so much! You're right about everything you said but please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt you so much. I was an idiot, Ash, an egocentric idiot. But still I never thought I could lose you. And when you stopped talking to me, at the same time you met Dany, I panicked. I understood then that I was not going to have you forever for myself, especially after the way I treated you. And yes, I'm sorry if I was a selfish bitch, but you're right: that was exactly the moment when I realized that I had to be brave and start to fight for you."

-"So you really decided you were in love with me after I left? Then maybe you're confusing your feelings, Spencer. Maybe you just missed me as your best friend."

-" Well yeah Ash, of course I missed you as my friend. But I… hmm… well, I'm here to come clean right? So do you want to know the truth even if it might hurt a little?" I was lying. I don't think it would hurt just a little. And she might hate me after this but I can't live a lie anymore. I've already stopped sobbing and started to get myself together for a round of truth punches… what a lame expression, forget about it.

-"Yes, Spencer, that's why we're here, aren't we? If we don't do it today I don't think that we'll be brave enough to do it another day."

-"Ok then. I know I'm not confusing my feelings because well, I've been in love with you since before you moved on. I knew I was in love with you since the kiss we shared…"


	16. Chapter 16

soo here's the next part of the talk, enjoy it! you might not like the end of the chapter a lot, but wait n see!

faitedcircle26: yeah the talk was intense! i hope this chapter explains things better. the chapter kind of redeems spencer a little haha.

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(Previous chapter)

_-"Ok then. I know I'm not confusing my feelings because well, I've been in love with you since before you moved on. I knew I was in love with you since the kiss we shared…"_

(Spencer's POV)

I know she'll hate me, I know it. I was staring at my cold, almost un-touched mugaccino because I couldn't face her. And her silence confirmed me what I feared.

-"No. You have got to be kidding me, Spencer. No, this is not happening. This can't be real. Cause seriously, if this is G-d's idea of humor then I'm fucked up."

She started to grab her things showing really irritated. I don't blame her.

-"No Ashley, please don't leave, not yet."

-"Why wouldn't I, Spencer? So you could keep playing with my feelings like I was just an object? Like your little straight girl experimental game?"

-"Ash no, I'm not playing with your feelings, please!"

-"Then explain!" she said while throwing her things back to the table- "If you were in love with me why you didn't say a thing!! You fucking broke my heart, Spencer!"

Her invisible rough walls were broken at that moment and she finally allowed herself to be vulnerable as she started crying like a baby. I then went to face her and wrapped my arms around her trying to calm her down. She started to try talking between sobs.

-" Why Sp-ence-r? Why would-n't you say any-thing?"

-"I'm so sorry Ash, but I was afraid!"

-"Come on, Spence, fear is not even a good excuse."

-"It might not be for you, Ash, but it was for me. You see, not everyone is as brave and careless as you are. And maybe you don't get why it was so hard for me, but it was a complete life-changer! You know how my family is, they're always so correct and doing the right thing… That's why I kept going back to Mike, because my mother loves him and she thinks he's a good man for me to spend my future with. And I believed the same, but only the first years. After the first time we broke up and then made up, things were never the same. But you, on the other hand, were always there for me. And when we were dancing that crazy night and I leaned to kiss you, I meant it. And it wasn't just an experimental game, Ash, I'm no Katy Perry! Though I can't lie, I did like kissing a girl!"

Great, I managed to pull a smile back on her face. She even giggled at my stupid comment. And it makes me so happy that finally, even for one simple moment, I was the one who made her happy.

-"Then why did you go out with Aiden?"

-"I told you, Ash, I was scared. No, scared doesn't suit what I felt. I was panicked! Imagine living a whole life hoping that one day you'll find prince charming and you'll marry him and have little cute babies so you can make your mother happy, but one fine day bam! You find out that your prince charming is actually a princess charming that doesn't fit all of the expectations…  
I felt so many things when I kissed you, Ash… I just couldn't admit I was in love with you. I didn't want to see my world falling apart. So when Aiden confessed his feelings for me, I got that as an easy escape. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just use him, I'm not that horrible person. I had an amazing time with him and we had a lot of fun together. But I wasn't in love with him.  
Then Mike came to me again and we talked and I knew that going back to him would make my mother happy again, because she was so mad at me and so depressed that I would never meet a nice guy to marry… I thought that if I made her happy, maybe I would be happy in the end too. Plus I had you. Whatever Mike lacked -which was a lot, believe me- you gave to me. You made me feel loved, made me feel unique. Feeling I was someone's entire world made me feel so happy and so proud… I didn't know how I managed to keep my feelings hidden from you and from everyone, but I did. I guess I valued them so much that I wanted those feelings just for myself. See, that's me being selfish again.  
It probably wasn't the best way to live my life, I know, but it worked. My mother was happy, Mike was happy and I had you."

-"And then I met Dany." She said matter-of-factly.

-"Hmm, yeah sort of. Before you met Dany you got mad at me and stopped talking to me. That hit me pretty hard. And _then_ you met Dany. THAT hit me way harder…"

-"Oh yeah, I got mad at you when I found out about Mike… Sorry for that."

-"No, you don't have to be sorry, Ash, on the contrary."

-" You know, when all of that happened I tried so hard every day to convince myself that you were a bad person who just played with the people like toys. I mean, I even felt bad for Aiden when you went back with Mike. So I tried to think you were horrible because that would justify my lack of talking to you and that would be a good reason for me to move on. But it never worked, Spence. I used to think that time would be on my side and that it would help me to forget about you. But with just one look from those beautiful blue eyes, with just one head tilt, with just one simple true smile from you, and my heart was melted again. But then I met Dany and she made me see things from a different perspective. When I was with her she even made me forget about the pain I felt because of my broken heart. And they say all the hearts mend, right? So I thought that maybe that was life's way to show I was not a bad person, after all. Life's way of telling me that I deserved to be happy and loved. And I'm not going to lie to you, I fell for Danielle. She kinda mended my heart, you know?"

-"I know, Ash. And I don't want you to think that I wanted to talk to you because I want to compete with Dany for you. That's not it. I just wanted to make everything clear to you and apologize for all the pain I caused you. I don't know if this can help, but I felt a horrible pain too. Knowing that you were suffering broke my heart everyday Ash, even though it still didn't make me brave enough to confess my feelings for you. It was way too hard."

-"Well it doesn't make me feel better, Spencer! When I was in love with you I backed because I thought that if Aiden or Mike were the ones that made you happy, then I was happy for you. I just wanted to see you enjoying life like you did before, back when we met."

-"I enjoy life when I'm with you, Ash. As I said, I'm not begging for a chance to be with you as you girl. I just want you back as my friend, if that's possible."

-"You don't need to ask me that Spence. You will always be my best friend before anything else. We could've been so happy together, you know? But I guess it was not meant to be. And I hmm... I'm sure that one day you will find someone out there that loves you the way you should be loved."

-"Yeah, I keep my expectations up. I hope that I will find someone, just like you already found your girl."

-"Yeah, just like I found my hmm… my girl, yeah. I have to go now, Spence."

After a long goodbye filled with long-lasting true hugs and good hopes and battles over the check, we left. I left with a smile plastered on my face because for once I did something good with her. And it feels so good to be finally released from the heavy weight of lies that I've been carrying. I know I still love her, and just like she said, for me even the slight movement from her curly hair can melt my heart. But eventually I will move on. Maybe I'll even find my very own Danielle or something. Or at least I hope so.

So goodbye to old Spencer. Today is the day I start doing things correctly. The day I start being myself again. Thanks to her, Ashley Davies. The only person that truly inspires me. The only person that truly knows me. The only person I truly love.


	17. Chapter 17

hey guys! thnx for the reviews! i love them all :P I dunno if i'll be able to post soon because i'm going out of town to spend Christmas... 10 days... :S but i promise i'll try to post. it's great you're liking the story, please keep reviewing!

kaila5707: thnx for the review, but the story hasn't ended yet! ; )

xxgirlcrushxx: no, no, of course i don't want to be responsible for your death haha. i won´t be! but let me tell you i just finished reading your story 'No other love' and _you _were almost responsible for _my_ death! but thankfully i'm still alive and i loved your story! i like a lot how you write! i'll try not to dissappoint with this story, thnx for the review! :P

fatedcircle26: i know, spencer wasn't really a bad person! hahaha, and after all, family preassure can make you do a lot of things that maybe you don't want to do... but anyway, i hope you like how things turn now! oh and you know what's the funny thing? that spencer can actually be placed in almost every katy perry single! she kissed a girl and she liked it (i kissed a girl), while she was with aiden/mike she was thinking of ashley (thinking of you) and well, last but definitely not least, the story title! ashley could sing that song to spencer and it will fit her perfectly hahaha. so maybe she _is_ like katy perry! thnx for the constant reviews!!!

(Ashley's POV)

Damn I don't know when things got so freaking complex. Shit, stupid car! "Asshole! Learn to fucking drive!!" Ok, maybe I should calm down a little bit and stop driving. I stopped at a random street to get myself together before actually hurting someone.

I don't know what to think anymore… All this time, she's loved me too… Ok, let's recap. I felt insecure about this talk. When I arrived at the café, I was just tired. Tired of everything. Because that was just so typical Spencer; or at least that's what I thought. I thought that she was just being unstable, as before, and that she really hadn't decided her feelings for me or for anyone. That probably she was mixing friendship with love. But then she started the serious talking and that was when I started getting mad. Because what she said was totally ridiculous. So she gave up her love to maintain an image… the image of the perfect daughter with the perfect family who had a perfect relationship with her perfect boyfriend. Perfection my ass. But then I felt bad for her because I sensed that she was being honest this time. That she was really pressured by making her family happy. And I realized it doesn't matter how hard I try, I just can't be mad at her. Especially when she was giving up her own happiness for her mother's. Pff… why does it have to be so hard?

So these are the moments when I don't know if my life would've been better without Spencer. Moments like when she tells me she wasn't brave enough to fight for us. Moments like when she broke my heart. Moments like when I cried at night so that no one else could see me crying for her.

But then I remember all of the happy memorable moments I've spent with her and they totally make every bad moment worth it. Even if there are like 10 bad moments against 1 good moment.

None of that matters anymore. I mean, Spencer is still my friend, but I'm with Dany and I'm happy with her, right? Right?! Yes, of course I'm happy with her. And it doesn't matter that I still have feelings for Spencer because Dany doesn't deserve this.

Ok, now I'm all calmed down so I can proceed to go to home and get some rest after the emotionally loaded afternoon I had today. Because I guess I still need to process everything.

When I finally got into my room a very exalted Danielle jumps just in front of me.

-"Ash! Where have you been? I've been looking for you since like forever!!"

-"Calm down Dane, I was out having breakfast."

-"Oh I didn't know. So I guess you're not hungry… I came here to invite you to have lunch upstairs at the rooftop."

I took a moment to look at my girlfriend. I mean she's hot. Plus she's also cute and everything. Yeah, I know I made the right decision. Fuck, who am I kidding? I'm _hoping_ I made the right decision.

-"Actually I am." I said evilly while grinning and approaching her. I placed my hands at her hips and my lips barely touching her earlobe. Then I whispered. "So don't I get a good-afternoon kiss?"

Our lips finally met and I definitely wasn't in the mood for soft gentle kisses, so I heated it up quite fast.

Call me primitive. Call me wrong. But I guess this was my way for seeking for reassurance that what I made was the right thing.

I was ravaging her lips hungrily as my hands travelled every inch of her body. Then she pushed away. It was good because I also needed the air.

-"No Ash, stop. This is not right, what the hell is wrong with you?"

-"What do you mean what's wrong with me? Sorry, but last time I checked it wasn't 'wrong' to kiss my girlfriend!!" I yelled at her. I was pissed. I know it's not against her but against me, but still I yelled.

-"You know that's not it Ashley. What's wrong, what happened?"

I tried to say something. Anything. Anything that wouldn't get in evidence what had happened in the morning. But it was useless. I just couldn't lie to her. Her eyes were desperately searching mines, looking for answers in them. I hold her gaze for a couple of seconds, which were enough to hurt my heart. I instantly looked at the floor and let out a sigh.

-"I met Spencer in the morning."

-"And? I knew something was wrong between the two of you since the last time you saw each other because you haven't mentioned her at all. So? What did she say?"

She softly pulled me to sit on my bed with her by my side, staring intently at me.

-"I stopped talking to her because of something she said the last time. I thought at first I had misunderstood what she said. Then I thought that maybe she was desperately seeking for attention. But then I stopped predicting and told her that we should talk."

-"But what did she say?"

-"She said…" I looked at her for a moment, silently apologizing for what I was going to say, though _that_ wasn't really my fault. "She said she was in love with me."

Silence. G-d I totally hate silence lately.

-"No. That really can't be true." Dany was just moving her head in a disapproving way while she spoke. She was now the one looking at the floor and after a couple of seconds her jaw started to clench. I thought it was convenient to break the silence before her head started to fabricate thoughts that aren't at all true.

-"I thought the same at first Dany. But I didn't want to live with doubts about that and that's why I agreed to meet Spencer. So she could clear everything up."

Dany was still in shock-mode, not being able to speak. So I kept talking about what had happened with Spencer. I tried to spare details like me telling Spencer we could've been so happy together and that kind of things, but basically I told her everything.

After more than a couple of minutes in painful silence she stood up quickly and started to head towards the door. I rapidly followed.

-"Dany wait, where are you going?!"

-"Fuck off, Ashley."

-"Whoa, what? Baby come on, please don't go!"

-"No Ashley, don't baby me. I just can't be with you right now, ok?"

-"But why are you mad!" she interrupted me while turning around and yelled at me:

-"Because you just tried to fuck me so you could prove yourself you did the right thing, Ashley!!" She turned again and kept running down stairs, with me following closely.

-"Dane that's not what I-"

-"No, Ashley, that's _exactly_ what you were doing." She wasn't even yelling anymore. And she didn't lose her time trying to face me. She just kept running away from me.

-"Danielle, please! I explained everything to you! This has nothing to do with me. And anyway, I chose you! I chose _you_, Dany, only you!"

I desperately tried to keep her from going out by grabbing her wrist. She stopped for a moment and sighed.

-"That was the least you could do…"

And with that said she opened my front door and left. Just like that, with no explanation, with no good-bye, she left.


	18. Chapter 18

Wow guys sorry for the seriously loooong absence!!! it's just that holidays got in the middle and well, you know how this times are... hahaha. Soo merry christmas, happy hanukkah, happy kwanza, happy new year and every other holiday you happen to celebrate! remember to preserve your new year's resolutions! haha.  
well I hope you like this chapter. it's sort of predictable and maybe you'll think that things like this don't really happen in this life. but i differ because i actually believe they happen (as you might remember, the story was based on a real-life tale...) but anyway, i'll leave you to judge this one. love your reviews, thankss!

Xxashleyluver4lifexX: i'm really sorry for not posting sooner, but i hope you like the chapter!

mini200do: thnx for the review! i hope you keep liking the story!

fatedcircle26: well thnx for the reviews, as alwaysss. this chapter is different from the others because well, it's written from a different, unkown-for-now point of view. and you'll see that maybe it wasn't ashley the one who needed to figure some things out...

satincanopy: hey, thnx for the review! you know, it's very sad when in life you just don't seem to have the same timing as the person you like... i always liked dany, also, and she'll do one last good thing for ashley. you're right about spencer. she'll come around more, you'll see haha. hope you like the chapter!

kaila5707: thnx for the review! i hope i don't disappoint, but this chapter won't say a lot about what ashley do! but i thinks it's good, i hope you like it.

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(Danielle's POV)

Taking walks always helps in clearing people's minds up. It's helped me, at least.

And I guess I became sort of magical because I've been invisible for the last couple of days. Well, invisible at least from some certain someone.

I haven't been answering her calls or her texts. I can't say she hasn't tried to apologize. She has, every single hour of every day that has passed. I just wasn't in the mood.

You see, I felt sort of betrayed. Not by her, because it wasn't really her fault. She can't help being charming and well, I get that blondie felt that too. I guess I just felt betrayed by life itself. It's just not fair that blondie –who-must-not-be-named- all of a sudden decides that she loves Ash and wants her back. She totally doesn't deserve Ashley, especially after how she hurt her.

But seriously, isn't life about this? No one gets what they deserve. And really, no one deserves what they have.

I climbed the stairs up to the rooftop. I knew Ashley would be there because she's been all melancholic for the last days so she goes there to reminiscence about good times we had. Ok so maybe I'm being a little too bitchy to her.

-"Ash…"

She quickly turned around and stared at me, I guess incredulous that I was actually standing at our place behind her.

-"Last time I checked, Ash, I wasn't a ghost."

She kinda got herself together a bit to throw a comeback.

-"Not a ghost, but definitely disappeared. I tried to contact you, you know? You just decided you wouldn't deign to answer."

Now _that_ was something I deserved. For being all bitchy. Because I came here to fix things up-allegedly- not to piss her up.

-"Ok Ash, you know…"

-"No, Dany, I'm sorry." She interrupted. "I'm sorry for everything that happened, ok? You have to understand it wasn't my fault! You know, I tried, no, I _did_ the right thing with Spencer and I defended you because I cared for you but you got mad and decided to take it on me. I'm sorry but I didn't deserve that, especially when I wasn't doing anything wrong!!"

-"Hey, relax, you're completely right."

She looked at me. No, she stared. Then her eyebrows wiggled forming a confused expression.

-"What? Am I right?" Aww I just love her when she goes all innocent…

-"Haha, yeah, you're right. I know it wasn't your fault, Ash. It was no one's fault, really. I guess it was just some bad communication issue."

-"So you're not mad at me anymore?"

-"No, not really. I've been thinking a lot these last days. Thanks for giving me my place, Ash. I know how you feel for Spencer and defending me as your girlfriend was a very sweet thing to do."

-"Hum well, quoting you: 'it was the least I could do' haha. No, but seriously Dany, I really love you."

-"I love you too, Ash. Look, as I was saying I've been thinking a lot lately. Every day with you it's been awesome, even before we started dating. You've showed me a lot of good things. I've felt things I never imagined I could feel with someone."

She closed the gap between us as she hugged me and slowly whispered in my ear.

-"I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I'm sorry if I hurt you. And I promise I'll make things work out again for us."

Shit. So that wasn't really helping me to remember what I came to do today…

-"Ash…"

-"No, really Dane, I promise. Spencer doesn't really want to cause problems between us."

-"No, Ash, wait. This is why I came here to talk to you. I think…" ok, get yourself together Danielle. Hold the tears, you're a big girl now… "Ash, I think that we should break up."

She froze. Right there, still holding me. After what seemed like an eternity she let go of me and stared into my face. She was searching for something. Anything that could tell her that I was making a terrible joke. But I guess she didn't find it as her eyes started to show how panicked she was.

-"Please, baby. Please tell me you did not just say that…" the fact that she was just muttering with that sad look on her face almost made me want to break all my determination, but at least I had to explain my reasons.

-"Ash, please listen to me."

-"No, Dane, please, if this is because of what happened I promise, no, I swear I will be better and never doubt about us again."

-"No, Ashley, listen. This has really nothing to do with what happened. Or maybe it has actually everything to do. When you told me about what Spencer said I felt mad and hurt. I really wanted to kick her blonde arse. And I was also a little disappointed with you because I realized that it just took a little confession out of her mouth to make you doubt about what we had. I decided that I really didn't want to let her win because come on, she really didn't deserve it. So I was at first totally determined to fight for you as mine, as _my_ girlfriend."

I paused for a while to watch her. She was still staring intently at me, kind of in denial about everything I had said. Fortunately she didn't try to speak, so I just continued.

-"I was just ready to come over here and talk to you yesterday when I found in a purse the picture we took when we went ice-skating. We had a great time, and I don't know why, but it was kind of a revelation to me. You are my girlfriend, but that doesn't at all mean that you're my possession. So it's ridiculous I could think of this as a competition with Spencer with you as the prize. I really know how much Spencer hurt you, Ash, but I also know that you're just happier when you're around her. Even when you're making a test, everything around you seems to be relaxed if she's with you. So I went to take a long walk and re-thought about what I wanted to do. There is no point at all to keep you here with me when I'm completely aware that she's the one that makes you happy."

-"Wait. This is so not happening. It's like a bad, surreal dream. Why else would you do that? This can't be real world." Oh G-d, what on Earth was that! She got back from her trance to say just _that_???

-"Jesus, Ashley! I'm being completely serious and honest with you!!"

-"Well I'm being honest too! I don't get it, Dany! I love you, ok! Yeah, maybe I still have some feelings for Spencer, but if that's the problem I'll just work it out. You make me happy, too!"

-"Hmm, ok, I'll try to explain it all over again because yes, you're totally not getting anything I say. I'm not saying you don't love me or that I don't love you. And definitely I'm not saying that we're not happy together. We are happy, very happy! But I realized that out there is someone that can actually make you happier than me. And the thing is that you can make her happy, too. I'm not giving up on us, Ash, I'm just letting you go."

-"But… I mean, why Dany? Why would you do that?"

-"Well, for the same reason it all started. Because I love you. And I realized that the most important thing for me is watching you smile, being happy. And I would be taking that out from you if I didn't let you go to Spencer. Let's just put it in simple terms. It's like you go to Starbucks and pay for a venti caramel frap but in the end they give you just a tall caramel frap and you don't say a thing and go claiming that well, it doesn't matter because in the end, it's just the same frappucino that you like. But you could have the venti one, you know? You were so close… You _should've_ had the venti one. In our story I'm like the tall frap. You love me, and it's ok, but there's no point in staying with me when venti frap is just there, waiting for you to claim her as yours. Well, just in hypothetical terms, of course."

-"So you're really leaving me?"

-"Not leaving you Ash, setting you free."

-"But really, I love you and I'm…"

-"Oh come on, Ashley. Just please accept this. The decision was already taken, anyway."

-"Yeah but I thought that couple decisions should be made by well, two…"

-"You're right about that, but please trust me on this one, ok?"

-"Oh just come here and hug me already!" I approached Ash and gave her the last hug I could give her as my girlfriend. Well, former girlfriend really, but I think I _do_ at least deserve _this_.  
After the hug she looked straight into my eyes and there was no more panic in them. Maybe a little confusion and shock, but mostly gratitude and love.

-"Thanks, Dany. I don't think I've ever met someone like you before. Seriously, you're awesome. I'll always remember you, and you can be sure I'll miss you a lot. The moments we spent together were just ours, and trust me when I say that I would have never wanted it any other way. You helped me become who I am today. Geez, I'm getting really cheesy and totally losing my cool. Hum, we can still be friends, can't we?"

-"Well, yeah, of course we can be but you have to give me some dueling time, Ash. I mean, I'm completely sure about what I am doing and everything, but I'm no supergirl and it's costing me too. I don't feel prepared to watch you with her just yet, but I'll come around, I promise. I'll call when I'm ready."

We stood there some more minutes just smiling at each other. I'm not going to lie. It hurts. A lot. And I'm still questioning myself why would I do such an exotic thing. But at least I have the certainty that I did something good for the person I love. And you know what? It feels awkwardly right and warm. Someone once said to me that making something good for others would not make me a hero, it would make me happy. I never believed it. Until now.

And well, seeing her happy? What else could I ever ask for?

-"So what are you still doing here, Ashley Romeo?? You have found her, now go and get her!"

-"Hey, you stole my song!"

-"Oh, sorry, I didn't know you were the songwriter for The Beatles! You look really young, huh! And really, if I had known you were so talented, maybe I could've put a tougher fight for you."

-"Wow that hurt! So I'm not worth a fight, huh?"

-"Haha, you know I'm just kidding Ashley Lennon. So, go get her tiger."

-"Hmm, you know, I think I'll just take this easy because well, it's really getting late and I don't think this is an appropriate hour for doing that kind of thing. I feel like staying here, maybe go down for a cup of Ashley's super special coffee and watch the stars and do cheesy sweet things The Beatles would write about. What do you say, want to join?"

-"Ash…"

-"It is our last night together. I don't think I need any other reason, Dane."

I didn't know if that would make it harder for me later. But I just couldn't say no. After all, we had a good relationship and I think we should give it a proper end. What will happen tomorrow, I'll deal with later. Right now, I'll focus on the present. And the super special coffee I'll have.


	19. Chapter 19

here's another update! it's a little short but i hope you like it :P

..Beautiful: thnx for the feedback! i liked dany too, ashley and her made a great couple... anyway, great that you liked the update, hope you like this one too!

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(Spencer's POV)

Argh, I hate vacations. My mother is always making me do house stuff instead of letting me rest. Because come on, vacations were meant for resting! But anyway, for some weird reason my mother believes that vacations were invented so that I could do chores I don't have time to do while on school so now I'm stuck here in my house. She won't even let me watch TV! Yay, that's the doorbell! Maybe someone came to visit or something. You never know, maybe Ashley came to rescue me to take me to some creative place or something. Damn, Spencer, you really have to stop daydreaming. Pff, guess no one's in the house cause the bell just keeps ringing. I better get this.

-"Ash? Hi, hum, what are you doing here? Are you ok?" she was just there, standing at my door, staring at the floor with some lost look. When she raised her head I realized that her face was all red and swollen. She'd been crying. – "Ash what's up? Why are you crying?"

-"Can I come in, please Spencer?"

-"Yeah, of course, let's go upstairs."

We just sat down on my bed and stayed in silence for a while. Well, I'm not saying this is awkward; I just want to know what's causing pain to her. I just want to hug her like there's no tomorrow and tell her everything's going to be ok. She started crying again, so I didn't resist the urge and moved closer to her to wrap my arms around her trembling body and then I started rocking us back and forth. Then she calmed and was able to speak again.

-"I'm sorry, Spence, I just… I didn't know it was going to hurt me so much."

-"Sorry, Ash, but what do you mean? Why are you sad? You know you can tell me anything."

-"Yeah, I know" She said, still sniffling. "Spencer, Dany broke up with me."

Oh boy. I have a big mixture of emotions rising inside me, and I really don't know which one I should let flow. Okay, maybe I do know that I can't show that I'm kind of happy, because well, that'd be rude. I'm also concerned and worried. Yeah, maybe that's what I should show. You're her best friend, Spencer, remember that.

-"Wow, Ash, I'm sorry, what happened?"

-"Well after we met the other day I went to my house and she was there and I couldn't help myself from saying almost everything to her."

-"Shit, Ash. Look, if this was my fault I can try to fix this! I can go talk to her and make her change her mind."

-"Hmm, yeah, it was kind of your fault and no, I don't think you could change her mind."

-"Ash, I'm really, really sorry. You know that wasn't my intention… But there must be something we can do!"

-"No, Spence, it's ok. It was because of you but not in the way you're imagining it, so I should probably explain everything to you. When I said everything to Dany she got mad at me and left. Well especially because she understood that I was kissing her crazily just so I could feel better about me choosing her. I realized I was a total jackass for pushing her away like that so I tried and I tried to make it up. But she wouldn't want to talk to me. Anyway, after some days she came to me and we talked and cleared everything up. And then she broke up with me."

-"Damn, Ash, that wasn't really fair! Is she still mad at you?"

-"Spence, calm down, I haven't really finished. She broke up with me but because of some very sweet reason. I didn't agree at first, but she had her mind determined and, I ended up agreeing. It's just that today when I woke up realization hit me and I don't know, it's just hard to accept that she's not here anymore… well, not technically, she's still living next door, but you get the point."

-"But Ash, if you still love her why don't you go and try again?"

-"I can't. And I don't really want to, I guess I was just expressing my feelings. You see, Spencer, Dany didn't just brake up with me, she set me free."

-"What do you mean?"

-"She thought that I hmm… that I would be happier with you."

Good Lord, I don't think I'm getting this. That kind of things doesn't happen in real life.

-"You're kidding me, Ashley, aren't you? I mean, why would she do that?"

-"Well, Spence, I think that for the same reason you did it with me last week or the same reason I did it with you a year ago. Because we're some sort of good people that actually care about others. Dany loves me, and I love her, too, but she knew that well, there was no point in ignoring the fact that out there is someone that makes my heart melt with just a glimpse. That someone being you, apparently."

Wow. Mental note to thoroughly apologize to Dany. And thank her. Maybe send some chocolates or something because wow.

-"Ash and are you ok with that? I mean, if you want Dany then go talk to her."

-"I'll stop pretending now, Spence. I loved Dany, I really did. But I was never able to get over you."

-"So you're saying that maybe you can give _us_ a chance?" I think I'm blessing this day for the rest of the eternity.

-"I… I honestly don't know, Spence."


	20. Chapter 20

people! well this is sadly the last chapter! thnx to everyone that reviewed and everyone in general who took the time to read the story and everyone who added it to your favorites. you're awesome! well i hope you like it, it's sort of very predictable but come on, i know u all wanted it to end this way! oh and btw, i make a reference through this chapter about Annie Wilson. yes, 90210's Annie Wilson. don't ask, i've always thought that she's all perfect n everything. but still i believe spencer is way more perfect than annie wilson and that's why i put it there. well it doesn't matter, u'll understand when u read it. thanks!!

MasterDanniSoN2: thnx for the feedback! Hope you like the last chapter!

..Beautiful: it's great that u liked the last chapter, hope you like the last one! Thnx for the review!

fatedcircle26: yeah, it's awesome how there are still good people out there that care about others and do things for love like Dany did. But anyway, hope u like the last chapter! And really, thank u so much for reviewing almost on every chapter, it meant a lot! I even wanted to update quickly so I could read ur reviews haha. u made my days! ur great, thnx!!!

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_Previous chapter:_

_-"I… I honestly don't know, Spence."_

(Spencer's POV)

-"Oh, hum… sorry, maybe I misinterpreted what you were saying… It's all right, Ash. If you just want to cry or something I'm here."

-"I don't think I wanna cry anymore, Spencer, I think we need to talk. You broke my heart, Spence. And I know I shouldn't be blaming you for that, but I just can't help it. How do I know that if I give us a chance, you won't do it again?"

-"Ash I…"

-"Pff no, Spence, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I know that you never meant to hurt me. It's just that I'm scared, like really scared. What if we give this a chance and then you get cold feet or change your mind about me or something?"

I got up and placed myself in front of her, kneeling and holding one hand while placing the other under her cheek, softly forcing her gaze to meet mine.

-"My mind has been settled in the same objective for over a year now, Ash. I was just too scared to go for it. But not anymore, not now, when I know that I could lose you. Not now, when there's no one in the middle anymore. I'm so not letting you go this time."

-"I don't know what to do, Spence. I wanna try this, but sometimes my heart still hurts and I'm sorry, but I don't wanna cry anymore over you…"

-"Ashley, listen to me. Those cute expressive eyes of yours will never ever again share a tear on me, do you understand? I'll do whatever it takes to show you that I love you and that the only person I want is you. I don't care what I have to do, or how many time I have to wait. Because I know you feel it too, Ash, I know you also feel that we were meant to be together."

-"I used to believe that Spencer."

-"Hmm, used to? You- you don't feel it anymore?" Geez, I guess I blew it harder than I thought. It will be very difficult to win her back, but oh G-d, she's worth every trouble. Then, a small smile showed in her face.

-"I don't believe it anymore Spence because I don't think I should leave something as important as my life in the hands of something as subjective as fate. If I do something, it's because I want to do it, not because I'm meant to."

-"Oh, that explains things… Ok, maybe you're right. After all, nothing is written down yet. So, hum, what do you think Ash? Can you give me a chance?"

In that moment, I don't know how, but I was on one knee, my hands still holding hers, my eyes staring into hers, anxiously pleading for an answer.

-"Ash? Please?"

-"Spence I just don't know…"

-"Come on, what's stopping you? I'm handing you my heart here, Davies, please just take it."

-"You promise you won't be so hard to please, Spencer?"

-"Of course. You can have my word on that. I'm the one who's gonna please you in everything."

-"And are you really sure you want to do this?"

-"Listen Ash, I know I've made a lot, and I mean A LOT of mistakes in my life. But thankfully I've learned from each one of them and I think in the past year I've grown more than in my entire life. I know now that the fear I felt of accepting I liked you wasn't even compared to the fear I experienced when I thought I had lost you forever. Now I also know that fear is the one thing that always keeps us from being happy and getting what we want. Yes, maybe I used to change my mind a lot, but that had stopped, trust me. And back to the question, yes Ashley, I'm more than sure. I've never been so sure about something in my life. I'm as sure as my name is Spencer Carlin."

-"You know, I'd actually like to take a look on your birth certificate. Just to be sure myself. You never know these days…"

I just laughed. A sincere, care-free laugh I haven't had in G-d knows how much time.

-"Oh shut up, dork!" I gently hit her arm. –"Anyway, I'm so sure about this I even told my mom that I couldn't be with perfect Mike because I was in love with someone else."

-"Shit Spence, you didn't tell her who you were in love with, did you?"

-"Oh no, of course not. See, that was a thing I _wasn't _sure about. If I would ever be with you."

She made me stand from my still kneeling (quite tiring, I might add) position and made me sit beside her. She then smiled lovingly at me. The same smile that made my heart skip a beat every time.

-"Thanks, Spence."

-"What for?"

-"For being you. For showing me that I'm bigger than my fears. G-d knows how hard I tried not to like you. How hard I tried to find anything in you that I disliked and helped me realize that I should just stop trying to please you. But I was never able, Spence. Not one single time. Because how could I dislike you, when I loved you so damn much? How could I think there was something wrong with you, when you're like a perfected version of Annie Wilson?"

-"Oh, I'm _just_ a perfected version of Annie Wilson?"

-"You're a lot more, you know that, Spence."

-"I know Ash. Thanks for always being so sweet. I love you, Ashley Davies."

-"I love you too, Spencer Carlin. Wait, that is your real name, isn't it?" I just shot an eye roll at her direction for that lame comment. "Ok, ok, you're right Spence, that was lame. But seriously, I think I'm ready to try it all over again with you. Start from blank."

-"Oh G-d that's awesome!" I couldn't stop myself from just hopping from where I was seated and hug her again, kissing her cheek like a grateful happy kid who was just given the best toy. Oh man, I'm such an idiot! That was so desperate, Carlin! I hope it doesn't freak her out or something… "Ash I'm sorry I think I just got overexcited…" Great, now I'm bright red like ketchup.

-"Hey, it's alright. I just want to take things slowly, Spence. I think it would be best."

-"Ok, let me tell you what I think we should do"- I said, managing to stop the blushing and getting my thoughts together. –"Why don't we just play it by ear, Ash? No more expectations from each other, no more trying to please one another. Let's just start with us being us. With the simple, funny things we used to do, in order to get to know each other all over again. What do you say?"

-"You know, when I was driving over here I really didn't know what I was going to get from this, from talking to you. I came because I wanted to be with someone because even though I've always said that I hate when people sees me crying, the truth is that I hate more being alone while crying. But I knew I had to talk to you about this, Spence, because Dany was right. I just can't let pass this opportunity to be with you. This is our moment. Just you and me. So yes, I think we should do that. I want to go watch stupid teen chick flicks with you. I want to study for freaking unsolvable tests with you. I want to sit on your couch the whole weekend watching The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and 90210 with you. Oh, also the infomercials channel. I don't like it, but for some weird reason you do… I want to eat cheap unhealthy Chinese food with you. Geez Spence, I even want to take your stinky micro-dog for a walk with you and buy you really expensive chocolates just for the sake of it."

So yeah. Sometimes you do things thinking in your benefit but sometimes you end up losing more than what you won. Sometimes timing is not on your side. Sometimes you don't get what you want. Sometimes people are more than they appear.

But especially, sometimes you _do_ get a happy-ever-after fairytale ending. Or at least I think I'm starting to get mine.


End file.
